The Skinny on Hostels: A Rundown from an Old Pro

LINDAU, GERMANY – June 1, 2006

Liechtenstein… the day-trip the didn’t happen… If you guessed rain, two points for you. Swashbuckling around some swampy city for a few hours just to say I’d been yet another illustrious European country lost its appeal before breakfast was over. Breakfast which was, by the way, included in the cost of my overpriced hostel – which made me feel better about staying at this “lake resort” despite the rain.

It was, I must say, the most lavish breakfast spread I’ve seen yet, and I’ve seen more than most. Rolls and sliced breads, butter, honey, an assortment of jams, slices of cheese and some oddly colored sliced meats, yogurt, at least eight granolas, fresh fruit, juice, coffee, tea, even hot chocolate. Folks, this is as good as it gets – and it doesn’t get this good very often. So when it does, you stand up and take notice.

The price I paid for this eating splendour? Not a €… but my unfortunate proximity to the little boy’s dorms more than made up for it. Judenherberge Lindau is in every sense of the word a youth hostel. Unlike most hostels I have encountered in my ten weeks of backpacking, at this one, the average age would probably be hovering somewhere beneath half of mine. I share a hallway with a room of quirky barely-teenage boys who find noises resembling uncouth bodily functions absolutely hilarious. That, and every time I enter or exit my room, I am greeted with an awkward “Alo,” and an accompanying even-more-awkward stare. It’s as if they’ve never seen a female before. Were they not a bunch of harmless boys, I might be bothered. Good thing I’m a tolerant soul. Having a 4-bed dorm to myself for the past day and half hasn’t hurt either.

Every hostel has its own flavor. Some had a vibe, like the Funky Hostel, where I spent a few nights in Granada. Others, like Villa St. Exupery in Nice, France, and Wombat’s in Munich, Germany, actually have a night life all their own. I’ve stayed in dorm rooms with as few as two beds, which had much more of a bed-and-breakfast feel, and as many as sixteen beds… which multiplies significantly the odds of getting stuck in a room with a snorer, sleepwalker, or worse, a canoodler with a one-night-stand stowaway. Trust me, it happens.

I did spend an endless night in central Germany caught between the ricocheting snores of two nearly apneatic sweet dreamers – even heavy-duty earplugs weren’t enough to save my beauty rest that night. Some hostels showcase state-of-the-art bathing facilities, like the brand-new Oasis Backpackers in Sevilla, Spain, which boasted marbled countertops and an endless supply of steamy-hot water. Others feature the push-button concept, in which you receive 10-second bursts of never-the-right temperature water, barely enough to get the suds out of your eyes before you have to reach for that damned button again. Some have incorporated impressive architectural feats – like the all-glass floor on the terrace of Sevilla’s Oasis, which looks down into the chill lobby, complete with leather chaises for ultimate lounging comfort. Or the Cat Hostel in Madrid, which lured travellers to stay indoors, enjoying the sounds of water trickling off fountains in its brightly colored inner mezzanine that was actually listed as one of the city’s historical treasures. (Note: all photos shown on this posting are from the Cat Hostel, Madrid, Spain. Pretty posh, for a hostel!!)

Most, naturally, are forgettable. That’s the tradeoff you except when you’re paying a fraction of what a “true” hotel room would cost. But for every lack of luxury, there’s an equal but opposite benefit – hostel staff, in my experience, generally speak better English than hotel staff at the lower-end budget hotel establishments abroad, which becomes a very advantageous consideration. Then there’s the frequent availability of kitchen access, which goes a long way towards stretching the budget. Breakfast is often included (ranging anywhere from a twinkie and tea to the all-you-can-eat buffet I witnessed today), laundry service is usually a possibility (for an extra fee, of course), and Internet access is never far (again, ranging from free, no-holds-barred to you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me €6-14/hour with severe limitations). The top benefit of hostelling, aside from saving a few almighty Euros, is the people factor – there is no other place that, as a traveller, you can meet so many more of your kind, so easily. You chat at the reception desk, while waiting for the shared bathroom to free up, over breakfast while waiting in line to use the toaster, while hanging out in the lounge during your “down time.” There is never of shortage of interesting people within arms reach… and I mean “interesting” in the loosest terms of the word – from dreadlock-toting potheads to straight-laced exchange students on semester break to, thank you Judenherberge Lindau, teeny-boppers on a camping holiday, and everything else in between.

Which is why Judenheberge Lindau isn’t a complete wash, by any stretch. Is it on my top-10 list? I won’t lie. No. But its very character proves yet again that there are many sides to the hostel kaleidoscope. Travel long enough, and odds are you’ll learn how to pick the good ones from a mile away (note: they’re always the ones that book up weeks in advance!). And when all else fails, chalk it up to experience and check out in the morning. There’s bound to be an empty bed waiting for you somewhere else.

~Melanie